MURDER!! So many iconic songs have been brutally bludgeoned to death by some truly abysmal cover versions of songs. Certain songs are just legendary and it’s very difficult to actually do the song justice, because otherwise you’ll be on the receiving end of an entire army of angry fans. Other times it’s usually customary to put your own spin on the song, which is probably a bigger gamble than covering the song normally. Most cover versions don’t actually do the original justice and it makes it worse that most are done for the sole purpose of money spinning, rather than paying tribute to a classic. It’s been very difficult to whittle it down to just seven but these one are definitely ear bleedingly awful. So here are my top seven worst covers I’ve ever heard:

7. Ellie Goulding – “Your Song” by Elton John

I think this song is number one recently, not as if I would ever plague my ears to torture myself into listening to that trosh, but I caught an ear of this song and personally I thought it was abysmal. I appreciate when artists put their own spin on a song to make it their own, but this version is just completely poo. She talks and whispers most of this song and where I feel a tiny bit ashamed that I actually liked the Elton John version, this version does not do the song justice at all. It’s completely diluted and instead of the emotive and moving content of the song, it’s been damped right down into a leaden dirge whispered all the way through.

6. McFly – “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen

As if McFly weren’t annoying enough with their gurning baby faces and hairstyles from a typhonic tumbleweed production line, they obviously tried to up the facade of being a “rock band” as opposed to being a boy band holding guitars and cover possibly one of Queen’s most well loved hits. Not only are Queen essentially uncoverable due to their immense stature (with the exception of Green Day doing “We Are The Champions” at the end of their live gigs), the floppy haired prats annihilated this song with reckless abandon.

5. Stamford Amp – “Basket Case” by Green Day

Stamford Amp were the house band for Dannii Behr’s “The Saturday Show” about 8 years ago. I distinctly remember waking up one morning in a blind rage to hear a whole load of idiots completely murdering Green Day’s “Basket Case”. You can argue that since I had just literally woken up, my hearing wasn’t quite at 100% but trust me, this sacreligious evisceration of one of my favourite songs ever was nearly unforgivable, especially since it was sung like a bad stag-do like karaoke.

4. Lemar – “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” by The Darkness

While Lemar does actually think that he’s Lionel Richie, he really isn’t. Nowhere near. I did however hear him try to take his own spin on the Darkness’ “I Believe In A Thing Called Love”. Now while I do admire people who put their own spin on a song and do in their own style, making this classic into an R ‘n’ B butt splattering was not ok. It sounded completely out of place and I think even Craig David would be embarrassed if he did this song. The Darkness brought back what was fun in rock, as well as a good feel good factor, Lemar however reminded us that the charts are all about money and made us depressed again.

3. Jedward – “All The Small Things” by Blink 182

Now it’s hardly a secret that I cannot stand Jedward, or anybody else from this shitty X-Factor but purely by the fact that they cannot sing to save their lives, or the fact that they have quite possibly the worst haircut ever either, but that they actually have a music career based on the fact that people think they’re a joke. And even worse than that is that they think they actually DO have talent. If killing the shit out of Queen and David Bowie’s “Under Pressure” wasn’t enough (also by adding bits of Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”, which Ice himself claimed was nothing like “Under Pressure”) they then assaulted the charts once more by ruining Blink 182’s classic “All The Small Things”. This version is terrible and I find myself reaching for a screwdriver to shove into my ears when I’ve walked past a radio and heard it playing. It’s awful and the sooner Jedward get shot the better.

2. Blazin’ Squad – “Crossroads” by Bone Thugs ‘N’ Harmony

I personally have never been a fan of Rap music, well certainly today’s rap scene. It’s insincere nonsense glorifying gang killings and promiscuity, well the self proclaimed “gangster rap” is anyways. But one of the songs which I absolutely love is “Crossroads” by Bone Thugs N Harmony. It was really heartfelt and meaningful which is why I liked the song so much, as well as being a great song to listen to.  However in 2002, Blazin’ Squad covered this song getting to reach number one in the UK charts. What is disconcerting is that a bunch of talentless chavs completely eviscerated this song into tiny pieces instead of do it any justcie at all. I don’t think they actually had any comprehension of what this song was actually about, instead posuring on stage as if they wrote the damn song. It was terrible and a complete disgrace to a classic song.

1. Glee – “Don’t Stop Believin’/Faithfully / Any Way You Want It” by Journey

When it comes to shatting all over classic songs, you can’t do it more than Glee can. What started out as a show to show kids that being in a show choir isn’t something to be bullied about, Glee have taken it one step further and are seemingly on a crusade to find as many songs from many different genres to piss all over. How they have accumulated the vast fan base is anyone’s guess as all their takes on the classic rock songs however are so contrived that they are only merited by sheer contempt. I had a hard choice as to which songs they covered so badly that it warranted being #1 in my list but at the end of the day, all four Journey covers they have done are so diabolically bad that I couldn’t possibly choose between them. It’s mainly Lea Michelle’s shrill chokings on the Don’t Stop cover which initally caused the anger but subsequently the periodic killing of arguably the greatest power ballad of Faithfully was pretty much unforgivable. As a big Journey fan, I find it very difficult to not get annoyed by this serial killing of my favourite songs and as they do not them justice it becomes very painful. Some sources argue that because of Glee, Journey themselves have received more exposure. While this may be slightly true, it swings back into almost homicidal rage when you get 16 year old brats telling me that Glee’s version is better, or even more brain dead people claim that Journey have copied Glee. Other notable ruinings of songs by Glee include Van Halen’s “Jump”, Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer” and Heart’s “Alone”.

Any further suggestions to add for murdered songs or to add to Glee’s trail of destruction, feel free to comment below!