Right that’s it. I’ve had enough. This is honestly the last time I can tolerate a “gleek” (short for prepubescent cunt who watches Glee) telling me I don’t know what I’m talking about when I say that “Don’t Stop Believin’” was a fantastic song way before Glee went and disembowled it! Granted, that album came out even before I was born. Escape by Journey was released in 1982 and yes maybe I’m not so original because I have it on CD rather than vinyl but I certainly have been aware of that song for years! And that song has been around for bloody years! It is for this reason that I propose Glee be renamed to Twatty Cuntbollocks for crimes against classic rock music. There’s plenty of shit pop music out there, mainly provided by Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga, for you to piss all over. Leave the good stuff alone. It’s not so much the show which I want to shout at today, more on the impact that is has on today’s society. If you drop a stone in the water, the ripples get larger as they say in Chinese philosophy. However in this instance, if you dookie in the water, the shit waves and the plop sound resonate throughout today’s culture like a tsunami of diarrhoea.

I remember Rabit warning me about this in an advert he saw and I was already on a homicidal rampage from witnessing Joe McElderry annihilate the song like Jack The Ripper would a prostitute if he was using Mortal Kombat II’s fatality system like some kind of recipe book. But when it couldn’t get any worse the Glee version showed that dumb joe kid how to really fuck up a classic. I know lots of people out there can’t quite understand why I get so angry about the Glee version and I’ll try and explain. It’s like Russell Brand trying to play Mozart’s Lacrimosa on a Steinway or an antique harp with his crotch. My point is you think he’s a twat anyways, but then he goes and twats all over something sacred and thinks it’s funny. It’s not. Period.

But nowadays I can’t work out if it’s the actual song which pisses me off or the brats who proclaim it was brilliant, neglecting the fact that it’s an atrocious cover. But it’s the integration with todays society of this song. I’ve been to Reflex, which is an 80’s bar, and Disco which plays 80’s and 90’s songs and both times the Glee version has been played. The problem is you can’t market yourself as an 80’s bar if you play a song recorded in 2009. But similarly with that rationale, do they play Alien Ant Farm’s cover of Michael Jackson’s Smooth Criminal? No they don’t because it was recorded in 2001. So for that reason I don’t know how the Glee version has slipped through the net. To be honest I question intelligence of the DJ at my local Reflex. I recall once I requested they play anything by Journey to which the odious prick replied “This is a disco mate”. Now that reply is of disintegrated meaning when the previous song he played was Guns ‘N’ Roses’ Sweet Child of Mine. And you just know that Livin’ On A Prayer was probably going to be played soon. This had salt rubbed in the wound when I saw an advert a mere three months later proclaiming that Reflex was now the official “HOME” of Journey. Not bad for a club of who’s DJ hadn’t heard of them three months prior. Similarly when they played it in Disco, I protested by storming off and punching a wall, and nearly did it again when I asked for the original to be played and they refused citing that they’d already played it that night. When I tried to explain that they had played the Downs Syndrome version, they still didn’t want to play it. Steve Perry, Neal Schon, Jonathan Cain, I’m sorry, I failed you.

But going back to Glee and all the Gleeks. An earlier post by myself was written depicting my utter disgust that Glee have murdered four Journey songs so I’ve made my feelings clear about the sheer contempt that I have for that program. I can understand that in the beginning it was a gimmick doing one classic song to get them noted but it’s just got out of control now. The sound of their versions of classic rock songs is contrived and is totally in view of profit, much like all the tripe involving tone deaf teenagers like High School Musical and Camp Rock. It is my opinion that all these Gleeks (with the exception of my good friend Ette because she loves classic musicals and used to be in a choir herself; but didn’t sound like a cage full of monkey’s trapped in a burning caravan) can go fuck themselves. I don’t want to hear Lea Michelle with her proboscis monkey like nose over-tremoloing or emphatically mis-warbling another classic song ever again.

Glee must be stopped, because it is a virus to ears of today’s society. I wouldn’t have a problem if they covered songs written to be on a stage show like Andrew Lloyd Webber’s material, but they don’t. They take something precious, swallow it up, shit it out, and go on holiday with the profit gained.

To all you Gleeks out there, this is how, if you want to cover Journey, it should be done. This is it done properly. I give you, the one and only, Steel Panther: