Last saturday I was watching the Eurovision Song Contest because it’s always quite a good laugh, especially if you’re drinking! As usual the UK entry was complete bollocks and I’m really wondering who actually decides that that shit should represent us? I mean it was terrible, plus the guy was completely out of tune. I can’t defend it in that respect so there’s probably no suprise we came last. But then again we’d do really badly even if we did have a good song. Why? Because we don’t really have any political neighbours who would actually vote for us. I know that each song should win on merit but quite frankly that just isn’t the case and it never will.

Granted in the spirit of Eurovision it’s supposed to be tacky and cheesey but there were actually some good songs. Turkey’s entry for example was quite good and proper rocked and Romania’s entry was a really good song. But it’s the instances where the song is diabolically bad and yet the neighbouring countries still give it either an 8, 10 or 12 pointer simply on the fact that they have some kind of coalition going on. For example, Russia’s “song” could have been a fat old man blowing on a kazoo for a minute whilst being dressed as a nazi penguin, yet I guarantee that the likes of Estonia, Georgia, Latvia and Stalingradvia will all give maximum points, so it just goes to show that the votes are purely geographical.

It hasn’t always been like this, for example two years ago when Lordi won it for Finland, I’m sure they got the vote being different. It was really funny how people were accusing them of dressing up like that purely for shock, when in reality that’s how they attire themselves anyway! I seem to recall rocking out Blood Red Sandman circa 2004/5 time and they were the same then! Plus it was hilarious how lots of old people went up in arms saying how it was Satanic, yet the song was called Hard Rock Hallelujah which is a total contradiction to what they were claiming.

Each year it’s entertainment and to be honest winning and losing realyl doesn’t matter, except when Germany win like this year. I mean the song wasn’t great but the girl was pretty hot so I guess that was enough to carry it through. Plus apparently there was a huge marketing campaign for her so to be honest the Eurovision Marking Contest doesn’t have the same ring to it but it’s pretty much all the substance that is left now.

More coutnries need to rock though. I’m looking at the Scandanavian countries here seeing that Norway, Sweden and Finland have churned out bands like Sabaton, Nightwish, In Flames, Europe (lol) and Backyard Babies. And Freqmaster, don’t you DARE mention the Flower Kings! lol

So Eurovision is a farce and all it serves now is teaching people European geography, although somebody needs to tell them that Israel is nowhere near Europe! I can’t see Egypt entering the contest so neither should they!