A few years ago we had a small group of us who would religiously attend the pub quiz on a wednesday night down the local pub. It was a good mix of us except for one, my mate’s wife. You know how it is with one of your best friends’ girlfriend/wife, out of respect for them if you don’t like them you are polite if somewhat terse. Well this is how it all went a bit wrong between her and the rest of us.

Now there is always a degree of honour with the quizzes, if you win you do so on merit and it’s certainly more rewarding than using the internet on your phone because quite frankly that’s cheating. I personally hate that as the whole point is you test yourself for general knowledge, not how well you can surrepticiously look on the internet on your phone. Well anyways to cut a long story short she did this all the time and we were aware she was cheating but the worst part was that she was claiming she knew it already. This became abundantly apparent when she was feigning knowledge about really obscure questions like answering a question on “Dixon of Dock Green”; a 1950s television program. Now there is no way that she’d have known that seeing that the previous week I was accused of cheating in scrabble by using the words “hewn” and “cyborg”. Yeah ok we won the quiz and took the pot of £35 but that was google which won that quiz, not us.

Anyways one quiz we were having a debate over an answer of which I knew I was right, mainly because it was a football question and she’d obviously googled it wrong and had the audacity to argue with me. So me being me I gave a sarcastic response, as you’d expect. Now that’s just banter. I mean poor ol’ Freqmaster is always having me pounce on everything amusing he says by accident so this is just part of being in our group. Wrong. Having realised she was COMPLETELY wrong and instead of admitting she was wrong she burst into tears, right in front of the whole pub.

Again being me I don’t pander to people especially when they’re being excruciatingly stupid. So yeah when that didn’t attract enough attention she flounced out the pub like Mariah Carey in a diva tantrum and sat in her car. All of a sudden I’m public enemy number fucking one and it was down to me to apologise. Why? I was merely highlighting the fact she’d being spewing false information gathered from auspicious means and said with such conviction even though she was completely wrong.

So anyways I decided to make the peace because even though I knew I was spot on, she is so fucking stubborn she’d just sulk the rest of the evening like a spolied child. So I went to her car where upon seeing my presence decided to start crying again. I said sorry I shot her down (not meaning it of course but anything for a peaceful life eh?) and she retorted that the only reason I spoke to her like that was because she was a woman. Now hang on here, so I’m a fucking sexist am I? No! No the reason I spoke to her like that is because she was being stupid and she was a cheat, absolutely nothing to do with gender. It sickens me that people can play the sexism card as and when they feel like it because its utterly pathetic when it’s applied with no substance, and I may be a lot of things, but a sexist certainly isn’t one of them.

Was I right to apologise, ethically speaking no because I didn’t mean it but neither is trying to take advantage of the situation on the basis of a totally tenuous arguement. What’s done is done. I think she’s a fucking idiot and to be honest I don’t have time to pander towards morons.