Synyster Graves

The Self-Depricating Slippery Slope of Laziness

by on Mar.10, 2011, under Theories and Science

Wayne and Waynetta were quite accurate parodies!

I have really had it with lazy sloths. In danger of sounding like I’m condemning the obese, I’m not, but laziness does tend to create undesirable weight gain. But seriously I’m not mocking fat people, unless they can’t be bothered to get up from lying on the couch. I do understand that we exist in difficult times at the moment so again I’m not having a dig at the unemployed, I’m just fed up of lazy idiots, specifically, mouthy lazy idiots.

I met a couple not so long ago who epitomised the stereotype of such people, colloquially classified as “slobs”. The wife was a rotund and loud woman who you could tell immediately that due to her gravitationally inefficient stature, used that to intimidate people into doing what she wanted as within the first ten minutes of meeting her one would deduce that she has about as much cognitive stamina as a potato waffle, and personality to match.

The husband similarly adhered to the stereotypical “couch potato” and in the grand balance of things was clearly the “brains” of the operation, if that’s any kind of consolation. But man was he lazy. I think everytime I saw him he was lying supine, sprawled across the sofa like a Saint Bernard warming itself by the fire in a log cabin. I mean the polite thing to do when someone comes into your house is to get up and shake their hand isn’t it? Or maybe I come from a school of thought which is somewhat archaic by today’s standards. Either way, casually waving an arm up in the air like a camp flyswat in acknowledgement, without even turning one’s head from the television in my book is just bad manners.

But both of them were clearly a direct by-product of over indulgence rather than genetic obesity, which makes the fact that they never stopped moaning about their lives and the cycle of audible complaints were frequent and consistent. The husband, confined by the shackles of his self imposed sofa prison was constantly demanding sustenance from his stolid wife and in return her shrill whingings produced an immensely irritating even flow of dialogue. But one thing was untid with them amd that was the moaning. Several times you want to intervene and inform them that if you just sit there and do nothing, nothing is actually going to happen, or by the fact that squandering your precious income on detritus will leave you  somewhat financially uncomfortable, but some people won’t be told.

Personally I’m a firm believer in making a life for yourself. Not looking after yourself and submitting to a life of descending laziness will only result in a downward spiral. So here’s my point, if you don’t ever bother to get off your arse in make a difference, and instead spend your non-working hours lying prone with your face millimetres away from a tub of Carte D’or, then you can’t sit there and moan. There are people worse off that you out there, but they’re at least trying to do something about it. Being stupid is not an excuse, although there does seem to be a correlation.

Hypothesis: Lazy people aren’t allowed to moan about anything


2 Comments for this entry

  • Whyte Rabit

    I’d take it a step further; anyone unemployed for a period longer than 12 months should have to apply for a licence should they want to breed; Second generation unemployed should be neutered after they fail to obtain or sustain a job for a similar period.

    That should make a start at thinning out the spongers from society and as a result the average IQ of the country should increase at an alarming rate.

  • The Ette

    Rabit for Prime Minister…

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