Synyster Graves

Spoilers: Paranormal Activity 2

by on Mar.15, 2012, under Spoiler Alert!

** Disclaimer: This rant includes spoilers so I strongly suggest that if you do actually want to watch this film and attempt to enjoy it by all means but you should probably stop reading this article. This is not designed to ruin everyone else’s enjoyment, but stops them wasting hours of their lives on films I perceived to being a bit poo. While I may not discuss the entire plot, there will be elements whereby any attempt to create a facade by the film will be shattered. You have been warned! **

While some people really enjoyed Paranormal Activity, I was just bored. Nevertheless I thought I’d give the sequel a watch just to see if it gets any better. However, I was only going to get disappointed further. Again all the trailers had footgae of people screaming in the cinemas, which I question their mettle in horror films because if the first one is anything to go by, this could be as a watery snoozefest as the first film.

Why It’s Crap

Usually I’ll give a relatively floral introduction to justifying why I didn’t like this film, I can sum it up quite swiftly in that nothing really happens at all. It has the usual beginnings, family videos and everyone being happy next to the pool, drawing you into the fact that PA2 is a parallel prequel to the first film as Kristi, the girl in this film is Katie’s sister; Katie being the protagonist in the first film. A burglary happens in the house leading the dad, Dan who looks like Ricky Gervais, to install static security cameras up around the house turning the film from a shaky first person camera film into more of a Big Brother experience.

Well weird stuff happens after the burglary, when I say weird stuff, it’s relatively few and far between as far as pool cleaning bots climbing out of the pool on it’s own accord, doors closing behind people and a baby mobiles and lights slightly swinging. Occasionally there are scratches and the words appearing in Latin. The girl goes mental and then catatonic, while the whole time the dad is in denial that there is something weird going on, and despite erecting a closed circuit camera network, only decides to review the footage after Kristi gets completely possessed.

Like the first film, it’s reliant on boo scares and the comedy moments of people being dragged around by their ankles by an invisible force. I still find this funny, and totally not atmospheric nor scary, especially the part when all the cupboards burst open simultaneously.

When Dan FINALLY accepts that Kristi is probably possessed, he tries to use the cross on Kristi, she violently attacks him, and all the lights in the house go out. They turn the hand-held camera’s night vision on, and find that Kristi has disappeared along with Hunter. Cue the obligatory furniture all over the house falls over, and the chandeliers shake. Dan chases Kristi into the basement and she attacks him so he slaps a cross on her head, causing her to collapse to the floor. The ground rumbles and demonic growls and roars are heard, until finally the shaking stops. Dan puts Kristi to bed and burns a photo of a young Katie (the same photo Micah later finds in the attic of his and Katie’s house, as depicted in the first film) to transfer the demon to her to protect his son, because obviously all invisible demons eat children.

Three weeks later, Katie visits and explains how strange things have now begun happening at her house. Kristi tells her to not talk about it just as Katie told her before. She returns home, where she finds that Micah has purchased a new video camera (the rest of the scene consists of approximately the first 2 minutes of the previous film).

The film then intertwines with the first as a possessed and bloodstained Katie breaks into Dan and Kristi’s home and kills Dan by breaking his neck, rather comically I may add. Proper Steven Seagal style. She then climbs the stairs and attacks and kills Kristi in Hunter’s room, launching her against the camera and takes the baby. Katie leaves the room, cradling Hunter. The screen fades to black as Hunter’s crying dies down and turns into laughter. And I carried on yawning.

Verdict

I waited the whole film for something interesting to happen and all I got were half arsed boo scares and spent the whole time willing Dan to die, because he was annoying and blatantly obstructive. Perhaps that was the point, but I just didn’t get any empathy for the characters since they were so stupid most of the time. The actual “paranormal activity” itself was pretty lame and apart from misplacement of house objects and Derek Acorah style “possessions”, nothing particularly held my attention longer than ten minutes without me checking my watch to see how much was left. The parallels with the first film tie in well, but the whole being chased by an invisible demon makes it too much of a joke. If it was like a ghost caught on camera and performed poltergeist activity I would be interested, but since it’s an invisible demon, I yawn.

Paranormal Activity 2 is nowhere near the worst film I have slated in this section, but I have to contend with the fact that I’m not getting those two hours of insomnia fighting back.  I probably will see the thrid prequel out of curiousity but I cannot see me sitting through this film again.

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