As Christmas is approaching, the whole world seems to flooded with adverts of just plain shit to buy people for presents. But even before then in the seldom that I’ve been watching television, I’ve noticed how truly awful todays “chart” music is. I mean the music isn’t to my taste, that’s fair enough, but it’s just so contrived now.

Optimus Prime seems to sing more than most artists now

My main gripe which I’m trying to dictate here is that it’s all so bloody fake. I woke up the other morning to turn on the TV to find on Daybreak with that odious pig Adrian Chiles was that prepubescent kid Justin Bieber (I think that’s how you spell his name). The fact that he interviewed like a plasticine halibut is not the point, but they showed clips of all his “hits”. I don’t think in that 20 second excerpt of his music did I, at any point, not notice a vocorder was affecting his singing. Surely if you’re a musical artist, you’re talented enough to have a decent singing voice without sounding like Optimus Prime has swallowed Gary Barlow. I think it’s just frankly that a record company found some kind who looked a little bit like Zac Effron (even has the Lego haircut), but back to the point, in the studio when they’re recorded with voice aids to mask the fact that he can’t sing! Plus the songs I heard are about the opposite sex and to a degree getting someone hasn’t even reached puberty yet to sing such content almost provides an argument for the media to not moan about teenage pregnancy.

Another “artist” I noticed who significantly relies on electronic voice support is Jason Derulo. I heard one of his songs on the radio and couldn’t help notice the prominence of a vocorder again. This time it more like the fusion of Soundwave and Lionel Richie. What is it with these people who can’t sing who have musical careers? Plus isn’t half the joy of getting into music seeing your favourite act live? Yes they can implement the voice support on a live microphone but it’s not the same is it? Surely its embarrassing for the artist when the crowd sing better than they do.

And people wonder why I prefer good rock music…