Earth Defense Force 2017 (or EDF) is a relatively low budget release which sees you as a soldier, fighting for the liberation of the Earth from a mysterious alien force. It’s a third person shooter set in well, 2017, and sees the arrival of a host of alien spacecraft appearing in the skies over the earth. In the very beginning of the game it’s announced that the government has called these aliens “The Ravagers”, not probably the best name for an unknown species of which it hasn’t been established but nevermind we’ll just give them a hostile name!

So yes the Ravagers have come to Earth and the game starts by throwing you into the action almost immediately against a horde of….giant black ants? Yes you heard me, the Earth is being invaded by the very things you annihilated as a small child in your grandparents’ back garden…except these must be their cousins…the fucking huge variety! Along with the black ants, of which on harder levels seem to projectile defecate piss coloured acid come the more aggressive and bitey red ants and (terrifyingly for myself) very large spiders which anally spit webs at you. Accompanying David Attenborough’s shop of horrors are the flying death tiaras or airships, Hectors (or giant walking arms) which are straight out of War of The Worlds, and Air Transport Motherships. With this variable amount of enemies to combat you’d better get some guns right?

Well the weaponary is one of this game’s hidden strengths. There are well over 160 kinds of weapon (not quite Borderlands level but getting there) and can range from mind blowingly overkill like the Genocide Gun or the Goliath Z Rocket Launcher, to fucking pointless like a welder or an acid rifle, which dribbles out nonchalantly like the remnants of a 2am piss. You unlock more weapons as you progress through each level and collect the markers along with added armour (which acts as health in the next level) and the obligatory health jars which look more like KFC Baked Beans.

The difficulty levels are quite varied in terms of progressive difficulty with Easy and Normal being simple to breeze through, Hard is a slight challenge, Hardest is really difficult, to finally Inferno, which quite frankly is impossible. The latter two difficulty levels are practically impossible to play in single player, so the split screen multiplayer option is a must.

There is a fine array of vehicles to choose from such as the E551 Combat Vehicle Gigantus; or a tank if you’re not a super geek like me, as well as a Mecha style war walker, a combat helicopter and a completely pointless bike which blows up if so much as a stout breeze crosses its vicinity.

The fact of the matter is with this game, you will be overwhelmed. That’s not an if but more of a when. Ants, Spiders and Metal monsters will pour at you from every angle and you will be taking on the entire horde within seconds as friendly soldiers are so unbelievably pathetic it’s like a pack of toilet rolls trying to take on a forest fire. Panic is usually you strongest tactic as back peddling and shooting is about the only offensive you have 90% of the time. The buildings provide little cover as any slightly misguided missile will cause the biggest building to collapse, akin to a card house in a hurricane. You can raze the entire city if you get a bit bored, which is seldom as every level will see the hordes the size of which would make the City of Jericho blush and be up in your grill before you can say Earth Defense Force.

While the game mechanism is simple, you can’t help but notice the low budget approach to the game, such as I’m not sure if anyone actually tested this before it was released. Ants and Spiders have the very annoying habit of being able to shoot through impregnable walls and seeing that a single semen trail of spiderweb can one-hit kill you, you may find yourself throwing controllers in frustration. It’s not as if you can employ any kind of real tactic as the whole fell of the game pertains towards charging in head first guns blazing. Certainly on harder difficulties, facing a whole array of black ants spitting acid will cause your entire screen to turn piss yellow and the game will annoyingly lag to catch up to the fact that you’re in some kind of caustic monsoon.

So in conclusion, you can pick up a copy of Earth Defense Force 2017 for a relatively low price and can expect a good 40+ hours of fun as you battle the alien hordes. Multiplayer is only local but very good fun and is fantastic if you need a bit of no-brainer blasting after a long day at work. EDF has no illusions about trying to be Call of Duty, and I’m quite glad for that.

"Oh shit...."