Synyster Graves

World Cup Candidate: Somalia

by on Dec.09, 2010, under Blepp Splatter's World Cup

Blepp Splatter’s crusade to bring football all over the world had a very successful campaign in South Africa, the first one African soil. This has led to an influx of interest all over the continent, starting in the Kingdom of Somalia

Welcome to the sunkissed beaches of Somalia!

We here in Somalia welcome people from all over the globe to our waters, especially if you are rich and own a yacht. We have escort services that drive out to your vessel and escort you safely back to land with a diligent armed response. Somalia has a long maritime history as we are often seen going out off our coast to greet large ships like oil tankers and sea faring yachts. But most importantly we are passionate about our football. Thousands of football loving Somalians mimic their footballing heroes by shouting “Stop or I’ll shoot” from their various sized fishing vessels upon all visitors to our country.

We have a bountiful collection of munitions fireworks which regularly light up the dark nights of Mogadishu and the opening ceremony will be a *blast*.

The dusty roads littered with children chasing car tyres provides an elegant backdrop for the proposed 100,000 seater stadia planned which will be constructed solely of elephant droppings and inedible bark.

We are also planning to develop an entire “soccer city” based on the architecture of a termite mound, which will provide accommodation and services to all travelling fans. Travelling fans will be delighted with the local customs of being transported blindfolded on large vehicles, escorted by the friendly local militia for a nominal fee between games.

We hope you will consider us Mr Splatter for the next World Cup to be staged in Africa.


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