Synyster Graves

World Cup Candidate: Mongolia

by on Dec.09, 2010, under Angry Rants

Staying in Asia, Blepp Splatter’s quest to bring football to all corners of the world takes us to the paradise on Earth that is Mongolia.

Welcome to the footballing nation of Mongolia!

Among the backdrop of frozen and tundra wasteland to scorching desert regions, we can cater for all your World Cup needs. We also have a lasting legacy of history and sport including the pillages and tyranny of Genghis Khan to the driving of shit battered old cars around the Ulanbataar rally.

We have expansive fields of festering rice crops and ungulate carcasses which are ideal for a playing surface compared to Russia’s plastic pitches. We also have under soil heating courtesy of the rotting detritus and fetid plant life. We also have excellent training facilities as we have drawn a series of rectangles to represent FIFA standard full size goals on the Great Wall of China. We are alos planning to build about 3-4 new stadia made totally from wild furs and bamboo canes.

To cater for the influx for supporters we have plenty of places to go out and eat which all serve a vast selection of salted meats as well as fine selection from our vintage goats milk range.

Accommodation is plentyful as our plan to erect a further 150,000 Yurts in the vicinity of the stadia is underway and are just a short yak ride to each of the group games.

We hope you will consider our bid Mr Splatter and we look forward to your stay in Mongolia!

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