Since when did going to the cinema become so bloody expensive?! I remember the days when you could go see a film for about £2-3. You could buy some popcorn and your ticket with a £5 note and still see change, now it’s bloody extortionate and half the films coming out are either crap, or are in 3D and you basically pay about £8 to get motion sickness! Yes Cloverfield, Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity, I’m looking at you! If I want to watch a disaster movie shot with a cameraman with Parkinsons then I’ll just watch Godzilla while sitting on a washing machine in mid-spin cycle.

I think the other thing which in recent times dilutes the whole cinema experience is the fact that acting is actually getting worse. So many actors these days pretty play themselves. I mean if they are a big off the rails like Jim Carrey for example, that’s fine! Plus I’ve grown up with Arnold Schwarzenegger films, we all know he’s not exactly a great actor but nonetheless there’s some entertainment value behind it. Scratch that, his early films are STILL good. Running Man and Terminator 2 are still two of my favourite films ever and the nostalgia is merely perpetuated when Freqmaster starts playing with his Arnie soundboard on his Android phone! I suppose it’s marginally acceptable for actors in “action” films to be pants actors, as long as the wanton destruction and epic scenes allow us to switch our brains off and assimmilate loud explosions as a form of primal entertainment. Examples of this are like Steven Seagal and Clint Eastwood. When have you ever seen a film where Clint Eastwood is essentially Harry Calahan? Every film I’ve seen him in involves gruffly mumbled lines and a fuck off hand cannon. Similarly Steven Seagal is a basically a bloody good martial artist with Bell’s Palsy.

I’m aiming more at actors like Ben Stiller for example, who in every film I’ve seen him in is basically an awkward wally and everyone else is victim to his haphazard follies whilst he painfully gurns for about 90 minutes a time. After There’s Something About Mary, Meet The Parents, The Heartbreak Kid and the five million other roles, this is a bit annoying and rather repetitive after a while. I don’t hate Ben Stiller per se, I just find it a bit much sometimes!

Sean William Scott is another actor of which I can’t work out if he’s typecast as Stifler from American Pie, or he’s like that really and just can’t act. I mean E.L. in Road Trip was essentially the same character. Staying with American Pie, Alyson Hannigan will always be Willow from Buffy, but every time I’ve seen her in a film/TV, she’s still being Willow! And tell me when Vince Vaughn is not playing Vince Vaughn.

The list is endless of which actors always seem to play exactly the same roles these days and I guess it’s the fact that originality in cinema media is dwindling. I mean testament to that is the amount of “remakes” that come out now. I’m pretty sure it’s taking advantage of the lucrative market of nostalgia but turning childhood memories into films for the sake of money is becoming criminal. Transformers, GI Joe and now the A-Team is being raped by the movie machine and you can only boycott these films for so long as you clasp with both hands to your fondest memories of your childhood heroes. For example, NO ONE will be able to play B.A. Baracus other than Mr T.  Fact. That roles was written for him and I fail to see how an ex-Ultimate fighter can emulate that. It’s as bad as Michael Bay rolling in his big pile of money, spaffing all over my childhood by rolling out the steaming pile of tripe that was Transformers 2. Seriously dude, the CGI was excellent but why ruin it by coming up with a storyline a mad chimp would be proud of. And to put the “twins” in who were never part of the original G1 Transformers from the 80’s and actually made them more annoying than a lift full of Jar-Jar Binkses, that just was just far too much. The only saving grace throughout that 3 hours saga of bollocks was Megan Fox!

Thank God for Megan Fox, the hours of my life wasted on Transformers 2: Revenge of the Filler were not wasted totally in vain. Couldn’t comment on how she played to role too much, but when my brain was turned into Ready Brek out of frustration/stupidity, sanity was maintained at least.