If you were to look up in the dictionary.com, you would get the following definition:

noun a self-seeking, servile flatterer; fawning parasite.

It is this very character of person which sparks unrelenting contempt from myself. Colloqially I suppose you could say that instead of using a flowery word like I usually do the general term “arse-licker” is appropriate, although the premise of that has always mystified me, why would someone enjoy having their arse licked? It’s weird and frankly disgusting to me, but then again I’m not into German scheiz porn, or the Human Centipede. But what has sparked my fury so much that I need to quantitively document it here? Well it’s somebody I know who does their utmost to subserviently attempt to gain praise by constantly contradicting himself in order to “look good” to more important people. You know the sort of person I mean, they’re your friend one minute and the next they’re stitching you up to make themselves look good.

Now I’m all about team spirit and cameraderie. It’s great being part of a team and finding success as a team, but the most blatant catalyst for the denegration of togetherness is when someone contradicts the team ethic and does wrong by innocent people in order to make themselves look good. Like being, or certinaly acting like a good friend one minute, to basically being a backstabbing c*nt the next. The metamorphosis was swift and largely undetected, but nevertheless the feeling of betrayal resonated throughout your fellow peers. How can someone think that fawning over someone is ever a good thing. It’s slimy and detestable.

Outside a hierarchical structure of employment, everyone is the same, regardless of their standing within a company. This is forgotten by sycophants. Sycophants would rather make themselves look “good” to the detriment of the greater good in order to try and score points as it were. This for me is unfathomly pathetic. Why be chummy with the rest of us and when the “bigger” players come knocking, spit in our faces and make us look and feel bad? Someone showing their true colours in this way is undeniably cowardly and frankly contemptable. And then after it’s all said and done, you want to be all chummy with me again? I seriously doubt that’s going to happen. I personally do not associate with obsequeous f*ckbiscuits and I’m not going to start now.

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is hazardous as you’ll never know when it’ll come up and bite you in the bum, in this instance flying to Austria and being bitten in the bum.

Dante actually placed flatterers and deceivers in one of the worst circles of hell in the Inferno. Circle Eight: Fraudsters, and Bolgia II to be precise:

Bolgia 2: Flatterers also exploited other people, this time using language. They are steeped in human excrement, which represents the words they produced. Alessio Interminei of Lucca and Thaïs are seen here. (Canto XVIII).

See Dante had the right idea, shove them in a river of sh*t! I personally will never truly trust this person again, as their behaviour and selfishness showed them to have the integrity of a loaf of bread and the common sense of one to boot. I guess that sycophancy is normal in a place of work, but outside of it? Give me a break. I feel betrayed and frankly taken advantage of. I hope your new found position suits you, because everyone else still thinks you’re a d*ckless idiot.