Synyster Graves

Gigs of War

by on Dec.06, 2011, under Angry Rants

I remember when I first started going to gigs, my first one was seeing Feeder when I was only sixteen, and it was a very memorable experience. It was only in a venue which had the capacity of about 200 people in it, so nothing majorly big but it was my first experience in a mosh pit and my first experience crowd surfing, albeit I got dropped on my head almost but nevertheless that experience has propelled me into the live music scene and I’ve enjoyed seeing many of my favourite bands from Avenged Sevenfold and Bullet For My Valentine, to Journey and The Darkness. But at the ripe of age of 28 (yes i know I sound immature and childish but I am 28!), I’ve noticed how the now teenagers act at gigs and only seem to renege all responsibility and frankly act like dicks.

As a teenager, specifically about 18 I genuinely thought I knew everything. I was on the cusp of independence by leaving for University and I was bulletproof. However, despite such misgivings, I was never disrespectful. While I spend most of my respective energies defending the realms of video games and rock music, there’s always some idiot kids who lack common decency and frankly behave like gutter dwelling oiks. But I digress, I was merely satirising the now clientelle of the gigs I so enjoy compared to when I was about early 20s. (This rant has been inspired by the recent gig I saw of Rise Against, who were very good, as well as the Stone Sour/Avenged Sevenfold gig last November). The following things now irritate me at gigs, despite vowing when I was younger to never turn into one of the fuddy-duddies on the periphery of a gig:

  • Teenagers smell. I honestly don’t remember coming out for a gig, knowing I would be shepherded into a mosh pit or circle pit if I hadn’t washed. I’ve never wanted to be the smelly kid, and even if a shower was unobtainable in the prior hours before a gig, deodourant or aftershave would create enough of an aromatic subterfuge to get away with it. Especially the fat girl who barged me out the way at the Rise Against gig probably because she could see the bar and hadn’t consumed any sugar in the last 10 minutes. All I can say about her can only be summed up by the phrase tit sweat. Yuck.

 

  • Nowadays there’s definitely more irresponsible dicks in a mosh pit. Perhaps that may be my perception because I was probably one of them you may ask? Well no. It’s common courtesy in a mosh pit to pick someone up if they fall over, not allow them to get stampeded by the prepubescent horde of spiralling kids. I’ve picked people up and been dropped myself (although most establishments ban crowd surfing now) but nevertheless there’s no point having a ruined night because the rest of the idiots around you were going berserk and trampled on you. We didn’t really have circle pits, or the wall of death when I was about 18, but for what it’s worth, I don’t really see the appeal. A standard mosh pit is fun if everyone is not a dick, but circle pits and walls of death seem to encourage kids to be stupid.

 

  • Speaking of irresponsible idiots in the mosh pit, there’s usually the half naked, usually dreadlocked scrawny kids who shunt everyone forward. Looking at one individually, they usually seem rather malnourished and unhygienic. However in a pack of them, they seem to disrobe and charge en mass at the people in front of them as if they’re trying to wade through a ball pit. Simple physics lads, the mass won’t dissipate because you’re shoving it, it’ll just move forward with your idiotics. This however is not quite the irresistable force vs the unmovable object, our squishy human bodies have a habit of being turned into pulp against an iron railing.

 

  • Probably the biggest nobheads you can encounter in a mosh pit or near the front are two imbecillic morons who think it’s prudent to spin each other around. Not only does this end up sideswiping innocent bystanders with reckless abandon, it seems totally incongruous to the music being played, making you a prize twat. It’s dangerous, because you have no control and power you hit someone as a result of your centrifugal force is a lot more than just bumping into them in a mosh pit. This is usually the kids who are pretty much displaying the whole “my first gig” attitude and don’t really know how to enjoy a gig without being a total penis.

 

  • And of course there’s always the loner. This is the guy who goes to gigs in order to push people over. He’s usually a lot older than everyone and bigger. When I say bigger I mean usually about 6′ 3″ at least. He’s usually bare chested unless he’s got the obligatory goth full length leather jacket. Anyways, this colossus of 100% dickhead wades into the swathes of pogo-ing giggers and begins his waves of destruction, shunting people over just for shits and giggles. Usually he’s not a fan of the music, but wants to assert his retard strength on a group of victims. He has no friends he’s come to the gig with, and he’s definitely move avoided than when he first arrived. Usually the loner is in his thirties and probably does some menial job whereby he’s not accepted and not allowed to display his “RAWK” side, so in rebellion will happily pay £20 to go to a gig which is in roughly the same genre of his taste, not know any songs, and proceed to push people over. What a dick.

 

I’m not saying that these things weren’t around when I was about 18, maybe I didn’t notice them to the same degree as I do now, but I seriously don’t remember being a smelly, irresponsible reprobate who had utter disregard for everyone around me. Agreed I’ve finally become the old fuddy-duddy at the back but at least I’m not the dick ruining the gig for everyone else. My gig buddies and I enjoyed the gigs we went to and escaped uninjured every time, plus we could smoke and crowd surf back then. I personally don’t think crowd surfing should be banned, as long as everyone is sensible. Play safe everyone.

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1 Comment for this entry

  • Whyte Rabit

    First time I was in a mosh pit I was head banging with one of my mates, his head was coming up as mine was going down, we made contact and his steel enforced scalp forced my lower front teeth through that bit of skin under my lower lip. so I was gushing blood for the next 10 minutes… but it was pretty funny lol

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