Synyster Graves

Don’t Hate The Horse, Hate The Game

by on May.31, 2010, under General Rants

I was driving home on Friday through the back routes to avoid the inevitable rush hour traffic on the motorway only to be caught in a traffic jam myself. After five minutes it had become apparent what was unnecessarily impeding the traffic.

A car had pulled over on the other side of the road and the driver was being surrounded by about five people who were obviously being towed by a horse. I don’t know what had happened but the argument was rather heated and to be honest the driver definitely had some minerals to take on about five pikeys all armed with riding crops. I assume that the car had overtaken the horse and probably cut it up, granted not the best driving manoeuvre but we are on a road, and on a road that’s what happens if you can pass and you’re being impeded. I’m not quite sure exactly the incident which sparked such a fracas, but still we’re in rush hour. I know I’m not a big fan of horses anyways, especially since once I was blown off for a date by a girl I used to work with because instead of me take her out, she’d rather muck out her stables. Plus when they’re not transporting police officers, they’re bumming Daniel Radcliffe in a West End play.

Now I’m not getting mad and the horse and while I’m cautious not to take sides I have to say that I get rather irate when pikeys decide to ride their horses during RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC. You have the whole fucking day to ride your horse around so why do it when there’s going to be the highest frequency of traffic? How is that having common sense. It’s bad enough that the animal shits all over the road and my clean car gets covered in faeces if it’s unfortunate to be in convoy but seriously, you’re putting the animal under stress if you choose to put it on a busy road on a Friday rush hour.

It’s instances like this that annoy me because people have to common fucking sense! I know that pikeys aren’t exactly the brightest people about but it just gets stupid when there’s miles worth of tailbacks because some inbred fancied a ride. Seriously, use the bridleways, that’s what they’re for. If I drive my car down a bridleway, I lose my license for for pity’s sake use those fucking routes, not A-Roads. Furthermore horse riders don’t pay road tax like fellow drivers such as me so yes drivers are slightly more inclined to have more of a right of way. And fundamentally, it is irresponsible to ride a horse down a busy road when the volume of traffic is that high. Stupid people should really not be allowed on the roads, certainly when it’s busy.

It’s just as stupid when you see cyclists riding down the middle of the road with no helmet on. That’s just Health & Safety 101 right there, and the only thing more fucking stupid which I see on the roads is when you get two cyclists riding abreast on the road so they can talk to each other. No, that’s against the law and it’s just fucking dangerous, yet the police would rather give grief to someone driving 4mph near the speed limit. Cyclists constantly do not cycle near the side of the road and then have the audacity to give you a funny look when you find a gap large enough for you to pass safely, which you could have done miles back because they were cycling in the middle as they were trying to beat Chris Hoy in a pursuit race. Seriously, wear a helmet and cycle safely you twats.

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