Synyster Graves

About as subtle as a punch in the face…

by on Dec.20, 2010, under Emo Rants

Can someone please tell me why, in today’s society that you physically have to tell someone to leave you alone? Any person with a maturity level greater than a five year old can tell if someone likes you, or the polar opposite, either way the necessity to spell it out in black and white is not needed? Why? Because by the time you reach adulthood, I’d like to think that you have ascended beyond the point of hand written letters under the table. Similarly, I don’t think it’s necessary to have to spell it out point blank.

Being generally nice to everyone, you’d like to think that people would notice that and not perceive it as fancying everybody. It’s called being friends with someone. But if you’re the sort of person who misinterprets everything, this can cause a problem. Doing favours and helping your friends out is indicative of being friends, nothing more. That’s the perk of having mates at the end of the day. But being a good friend is not indicative of romantic overtures in the slightest, it’s the body language that gives it away. Granted I’m not expecting everyone to be a body language expert but when you have people like myself about, I’m about as subtle as a punch in the face.

Where did this perception about the non-existence of platonic relationships come from? I refuse to be an anomaly in the world because I do have female friends, and very good ones at that, but never at all did I ever see them as anything more than that. So perhaps that explains my stance and subsequently my bewilderment that some people of whom one has been nice to, can misconstrue that as a romantic overture. Is it harsh to label that as being puerile?

Perhaps subtelty is not the method which best works in this instance because as the saying goes: “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” which would certainly explain the completely unecessary backlash which has resulted from it. After all, this is clearly the knee-jerk reaction from someone who has completely misinterpreted the situation and is now embarrassed.

But this is another failing of society, so let me paint you a scenario:

A man works at a company with a woman. Man, despite having a long term girlfriend, likes said woman engages in conversation with woman to find out they have nothing really in common. Over the course of the next few months man decides to imitate certain idiosyncracies of woman, complementing on the woman’s appearance regularly in desirable manner and implementing very similar dress style.

A few months on and Man is now into same hobbies as woman and complains about his girlfriend all the time. About five months down the line Man is regularly trying to communicate with woman via instant messengers and text messages as well as abandoning own department to sit on same table as her at lunch times. Woman, not wanting to be harsh, decides to give some “time out” to the man, hoping a period of non-communication will suffice in getting point across. Man however sends a barrage of texts wanting to know why he is being ignored. Woman explains that they just want ot be friends and that they don’t like being hounded. Man backs off for a bit.

Few months after that Man breaks up with long term girlfriend and moves to a flat near Woman. Woman, being a good friend, decides to help Man move into new flat and general maintenance assistance. Woman also attends Man’s housewarming party under the pretence of being friends, only to find out that Man is still holding a candle for Woman.

Many months pass and Woman gets new boyfriend at work. Man invites himself to lunch with new boyfriend and spends the whole time talking to Woman only and speaking over the new boyfriend every time he speaks. Woman is now fed up and decides that another period of non-communication is necessary in order to stop situation getting out of hand. Woman is then ostracised by Man’s department at work.

My question to you is, throughout the Man’s continuous overtures towards the woman, and the woman just being nice back, is this sexual harrassment from the Man?

Now here’s the failing of society. Lets reverse the genders so that in reality it’s the woman chasing the man. Is that sexual harrassment? Unfortunately not. If you ask me it blatantly is sexual harrassment, but every single person will automatically take the woman’s side in a situation like this no matter how wrong they are. (Basically this turnaround perspective is Matthew McConaghy’s closing idea in A Time To Kill, so it does work)

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1 Comment for this entry

  • The Ette

    Actually it’s sexual harrasment either way, but it’s about 10 times worse when a man is being harrassed. Unfortunately, society sees it as a joke when in reality it can be pretty creepy either way around. Men are also far to afraid to come forward when this is happening through fear of ridicule. How pathetic is out society when this is the case. As a woman I’m sick of it! Equality works both ways and I’m sick of my gender playing th “woman card”

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