Synyster Graves

[Group Stage] England 0 – 0 Algeria

by on Jun.22, 2010, under International Football

Hmm not a lot I can really say about this match apart from it was quite possibly the worst England performance I have ever seen. It’s even worse than the time we lost 1-0 at Wembley to Germany.

To cut a long story short, I can’t really describe the game because quite frankly nothing happened. The entire team managed to be completely useless and had about much offensive potency of bunch of trying to dismantle St. Paul’s Cathedral with a Gillette Fusion razor. It was flaccid, and ultimately had no heart in it whatsoever.

This is usually the part where I’d name and shame all the players who played shit, well quite frankly it was the lot of them. The passing was haphazard and sloppy, there was no goal threat whatsoever and Heskey played. Lampard as usual was non-existent, Gerrard had a shocker and Rooney was just fat and useless and had the touch of rapist. Man Utd fans big him up all season long and he pulls out a performance like that? He couldn’t keep the ball and found himself floundering in the top end of the pitch like a beached whale covered in lubricant. And when it hits 70 mins does Capello bring on players who can change a game, i.e. Joe Cole. No. Jermaine Defoe. Considering how crap we played I think we’d have been better off with Willem Defoe.

Basically, we HAVE to beat Slovenia; and certainly more than USA’s goal difference against Algeria, which I’m sure we will, but then again I thought we’d stuff Algeria, who to be fair were resolute and England were abysmal. Right about now I’d be telling you all to keep the faith but that would be slightly futile if we play like this again. I genuinely feel sorry for the fans who made the trip to South Africa, bought tickets and then witnessed that. And as for Rooney giving them lip, shut it you fat hunt.

And seriously if Heskey starts again, we may as well book tickets back to England because we won’t qualify…and probably won’t deserve to.

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