Synyster Graves

Ashley Young is a diving cheat despite the idiots who try and defend him

by on Apr.17, 2012, under Domestic Football

"He flies through the air with the greatest of ease..."

After the second game in a row whereby Ashley Young as almost flipped over in the penalty box as if he’s been hit by an invisible Range Rover/Speeding Wildebeest the media has been surprisingly quiet. Ignoring the fact that it’s not an unusual factor for Manchester United to have a diving cheat to award them contentious penalties all the time after having the likes of Dimitar Berbatov, Nani and Cristiano Ronaldo, Ashley Young is by far the most spectacular of all the great cheats to have worn the magic Red Shirt which makes you immune from punishment from referees in the last 15 years. But I’m not here to criticise Ashely Young further, there’s not much else more I can say about that little scandalous con man other than I’m surprised that he hasn’t received as much flak as he should have. Andy Carroll got absolutely flamed for his tumble against Newcastle, and to be fair it was pretty funny. But this is the huge difference, if he was wearing a Man Untied shirt, it would have been given as a penalty and Tim Krul would have been sent off. But since this wasn’t the case and it was possibly the funniest tumble since Emile Heskey played week in week out, I find Young’s playacting way more contemptable than Carroll’s tumble because twice in two games he managed to con the referee into giving a penalty.

But quite possibly the stupiest part of this “diving” saga is the amount of people who have tried to defend Ashley Young. Naturally the pro-Man Utd tidal wave of turd coming out of Gary Neville was one of the first ones to pipe up and start spouting his never-ending coprolite (I mean seriously this guy even writes a horrendously biased column in the Daily Mail, which surprises me because I’m sure he only knows about 25 words). Anyways, Neville was speaking on Monday Night Football on SKy Sports when he said:

 ”Every dressing room in the country will have a group of players who are told that when there’s contact in the box or they get touched, you’ve got to go down.

“Whether we like it or not, whether it depresses the people at home, if you want the truth then that is fact.

“That happens probably in amateur football, it’s happening in professional football, it’s happening in the Premier League. He [Ashley Young] absolutely made the most of it, he goes to ground easily, dived – whatever expression you are comfortable with using, Ashley Young did to win that penalty.

“Some of the greatest players that I’ve ever played with, people who everybody looks up to, we’ve seen do it. I dived a few times.

“This is not just about one incident in this last two weeks. This is about every single game of football with the greatest players in the world who do this”

Manchester United have had a host of cheats throughout the last few years

While this is the sort of dribble we have come to expect from this generally illiterate cunt I have to remark on the fact that he claims that the diving is part of the game? Perhaps if you have the amount of refereeing clemency as Man Utd do they yes you probably can get away with it. But he is condoning cheating the referee, which is nothing short is disgraceful. What sort of day in age do we live in whereby the only way to get a goal is to deceive the referee? By Neville’s own admission here it is acceptable, but me personally as a football fan I find it sickening. How can someone who earned 90+ caps playing for England say that the greatest players of the game con the referee?

The likes of Pele, Cruyff, van Basten, Eusebio and Puskas spring to mind and I don’t think they ever tried to cheat the referee by diving. Gary Neville in this interview alone proved what an absolute disgrace to the game Manchester United are if in their “match tactics” the object is cheat to get a penalty. Casing point of this is that in the Premier League alone, they have been awarded 11 penalties, the Premier League average excluding Man Utd for penalties awarded is 4.3! During the periods of domestic dominance for Liverpool, Arsenal, and even Burnley and Preston, they never had so much help from the referees as Man United have, which has solely attributed to their success. I have never seen a team who don’t play in Spain take a tumble in the box so readily than Man Utd. It’s awful. In fact everyone with eyes can see that they do it, so much so that because they know they have the FA in their pocket, they can get away with it time and time again. But the last two matches against Aston Villa and QPR have been terrible. It’s disrespectful for Young to cheat against Aston Villa because of course that is his old club. It’s nice when you have players like Robbie Keane who don’t celebrate against their former clubs but to feign contact and launch yourself to the floor like you were on the receiving end of a stone cold stunner, I find that a bit unpalatable.

Similarly in the vein to Neville’s ridiculous statements, another fucking idiot has emerged again the form of Clarke Carlisle. I criticised Carlisle earlier this season with his outrageous comments about Luis Suarez. Well now Carlisle has drawn more question marks over his intelligence for me (he’s supposed to be Britain’s Brainiest Footballer, but I find his perpetual comments more akin to a retarded ten year old) with his take on Ashley Young’s blatant diving. Carlisle said:

“I wouldn’t say he is or has been prone to falling over.

“He is quick and slight so it doesn’t take much contact to make him go over.”

 Considering that he then went to claim that he hadn’t see Young’s dive against Aston Villa, it makes his claims all that less reprehensible. Also if you think that Oscar Pistorius runs FASTER than Ashley Young, I’ve never seen him take a tumble at speed and he has no feet.

He then goes on to say:

“Like in the Ashley Young-Shaun Derry incident, there was contact, so it depends what the parameters are.

“If you are trying to judge whether there is sufficient contact, that’s so hard to tell. Even in slow-motion replays you can’t judge whether the contact on Ashley Young was enough to send him over. All you can see is that there was contact.

“If it was for blatant cases like [Liverpool's] Andy Carroll against Newcastle, where there was no contact whatsoever and he went down then yes, I think it would be good.”

“We don’t want to breed a generation of young players who are actively looking to win free-kicks and penalties by diving.”

Well since there was no contact between Derry and Young in the QPR game it seems to a bit too selective to have a pop at Andy Carroll just try and defend Ashley Young. It’s one or the other, you can’t just make up rules to apply to certain people then flame everybody else. It’s this sheer contradiction in castigation from Carlisle which invalidates any argument he may have had to say. You can’t condemn diving totally when you’ve admitted that Young goes down very easily. For me it’s just inequivocal evidence that Clarke Carlisle is a fucking idiot, an extrapolating from his arguement when he was having cheap pops at Luis Suarez, probably doesn’t think that Young dives because he’s black. Evra got Suarez punished with zero evidence, so I’m using the Evra-Paradigm to appropriate the notion that Carlisle must be a racist himself since Andy Carroll is white and Ashley Young is black.

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