Synyster Graves

All Your Skates Are Belong To Us

by on May.13, 2010, under Footie Rants

This is season is the first season in the history of the Premier League whereby a team has entered administration. That team is Portsmouth and in accordance with the football league rules were deducted points. But that’s where the consistency ends.

Other teams in lower leagues such as Leeds United, Southampton, Crystal Palace, Bournemouth, Southend United and Chester City have all in recent times suffered the same penalty for falling into administration, with a points deduction (-25 in Chester’s case) and a transfer embargo. The thing is with all these teams, as soon as the minus figures became insurmountable, they filed for administration and took the points hit.

The major difference is with Portsmouth being in the Premier League, they have a completely different administration as they are governed by the Premier League, a totally different body from the Football League. For that reason they have been given so much leniency that it’s made the entire situation exponentially farcical compared to what should have been done. The handling of the situation is utterly polarised from what happened 12 months ago to local neighbours Southampton.

Saints were deemed to have been in administration due to the fact that in April 2009, the holding company that owned the club filed for bankruptcy. Within weeks the senility of Lord Mawhinney kicked and they stated that if Saints survived he would dock 10 points relegating them to League One, if they went down they would receive the following season. This is the first time a “circumstantial” deduction had been applied and seeing that Mawhinney was showing his age, it surprised everyone. Now compare that Gestapo like apporach compared to the handling of Portsmouth’s financial plight.

Portsmouth Fans: One reason why you should never have sex with a relative

Portsmouth have failed to pay their players ON TIME in four separate occasions, didn’t pay their website fee which caused it to shut down, and closed all outlets of their retail shops. And this was BEFORE the Premier League thought to push them down the administration route. Now you can argue that switching owners four times in a season should give them cause for sympathy but the reason I don’t is that when Markus Liebherr bought out Southampton, they put it through such a rigmaroll of a “fit and proper test” yet firstly when Gaydamak bought Portsmouth and the FA knew the majority of his money came from illegal arms dealing in Angola, the protocol became almost a giant joke!

I always thought it was suspect how the club (Portsmouth) can go from a talentless team of OAPs with the likes of Steve Stone and Paul Merson to having a club that could win the FA Cup. Players like Niko Kranjcar and Sulley Muntari raised eyebrows at how a shit club with a stadium the size of a Netto Car Park can afford players with international reputation. And now the cookie has crumbled as it was obvious that they just bought an FA Cup. Granted bigger clubs like Liverpool and Man Utd are in debt but at least have a decent history in top flight and pay their debts on time.

The Premier League’s special dispensation to help out Portsmouth is sickening as other clubs in financial trouble in the Premier League, such as Birmingham and West Ham were never shown an ounce of help or sympathy. It’s all very well feeling sorry for a club being up shit creek but to break ervery single rule they instated is just stupid. It makes thier general administration lack integrity and strips all confidence away from any major decisions they have to take. For example letting Portsmouth trade players outside the transfer window to free up some cash. Did Chester City have that option before they were thrown out the league this year? No. Then what makes Portsmouth so special?

The other major factor why the Portsmouth situation has become beyond a joke is the moronic cunt of an administrator Andrew AndroidKronikpoo or whatever his name is. He manages to argue the toss with everything that the League have tried to upload in the laws and again it makes you ask what did they do to give them the stance to make such an audacious claim? Why he seems to think the rules don’t apply to him is anyone’s guess but then again would display that ambivalent stupidity if you spend the whole day wearing your own ass as a hat.

Let’s also not avoid the fact that (now former) Chief Exec Peter Storrie has been continually arrested this year over fiddling the fee books for certain player transfers. Now this is a POLICE matter and while the PL try and turn a blind eye to it it doesn’t ignore the fact that it’s illegal! Plus owing HMRC in excess of £12 million and not paying it goes beyond illegal. But yet again, they were never liquidated? Why?

One of the most ridiculous quotes I’ve seen from him and/or Avram Grant is the whole “the fans don’t deserve this” bullshit. No fans in any football club in the world deserve their team to suffer such affliction! What a stupid thing to say! Plus their fans are mainly a bunch of rascist skin heads who smell of fish and have the collective intelligence of Cheryl Cole.

So in conclusion, the club deserved to have been liquidated in March for the chronic lack of conduct and integrity brought to this country’s reputation and the longer they remain trading as insolvent business, the more the reminder to the rest of the British teams that if you are a team in Premier League, you can get away with blue fucking murder (excuse the pun).  You look at how every other club in financial trouble is treated and then look at the aforementioned facts, and you’ll why everybody deserves to hate Portsmouth.

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