Synyster Graves

All Your Skates Are Belong To Us (Part 6)

by on Mar.07, 2012, under Footie Rants

All over the news this week (with the exception of Andre Villas-Boas’ harsh sacking) was the prospect that perenially rule breaking disgrace to the football league Portsmouth could be saved from oblivion. Clearly the fact that everyone seems to be ok the fact that they’ve neglected their taxes for so long and paid out ridiculous wages to attract players who are far too good to be playing for the dishevelled club, well it’s swung right round and bitten them on the arse. Now it seemed they were getting exactly what was coming to them in the form of liquidation, and despite being called an idiot for wanting to see a team disappear, it’s only what they deserve. I keep hearing how all the fans are suffering and it’s not fair on them, my only experiences with Portsmouth fans is that they’re vile, racist luddites who have zero concept of common courtesy.

But I digress, the point of this brief post is in response to the fact that former owner Balram Chanrai, who loaned the money for Ali Al-whatshisface to buy the club in the first place, and then seized the assets when it all went tits up. Apparently Chanrai stands to lose £17million if they get liquidated which is why he’s attempting to take “temporary charge” until a new owner is found. This for me is another loophole which Portsmouth are attempting to take advantage of. I’ll explain my logic, absurd as it may come across:

  • Chanrai by proxy bought the club after they purchased the FA Cup and were a Premiership team, thus in the current economical decline are worth nowhere near how much and by virtue of the fact Portsmouth have tricked their way out of repayments with their CVA allowing them to only pay 20p of every £1 means that Chanrai’s money is worth no more than £3.4million at best. I know that not how it’s worked out but I’m applying the same Mickey Mouse rules to everything since Portsmouth seem to think they can get away with it.


  • As I’ve said in a few football forums, Portsmouth by rights should have been extinct by now and with the day to day wages crippling the club further, they are responsible for their own detriment every day. Asking players to play without pay to “help” the club is criminal as they have contracts, each contract states that you are entitled to whatever negotiated wage is set. Changing contracts just to suit their current economic decline, i.e. play without being paid is crassly criminal and surely is a breach of contract, thus invalidating any legal agreement with any other third party. Like I’ve been saying for ages, everyone can turn a blind eye to this blatant contradiction of all legislation.


  • Their CVA agreement which took them out of administration last time as previously mentioned allowed them to only pay 20p of every £1 owed, meaning we the taxpayer have to fund the rest. Seeing that I do no support Portsmouth in any shape or form unless they wanted to apply for dragging Portsea island to somewhere in the Antarctic, then I am not happy for my tax dollars and other people’s tax dollars to subsidise an organisation who can’t apportion their money properly. Thus the parachute payments (which in this instance have gone straight to former owner Gaydamak) should only have 20% of it given to Portsmouth as they are allowed to only pay 20%, they should only receive 20% of revenue.


  • Since monies owed to Portpin, Chanrai’s business are a large portion of the debt, thus the debt to them constitutes a part of the cumulative problem, them leaving Portsmouth in the state they were in makes them as accountable. Thus is the F.A.’s “fit and proper test” has to be followed properly like is applied to every other club, then surely since they have had the reigns of Portsmouth and still left it as a dump (not that you can polish a turd), surely they will fail immediately the test regardless if they have the covering funds or not. Plus they are only interested in “temporary charge”, which is surely against the rules of the F.A.’s ruling of ownership. Chanrai does not support Portsmouth, and is only this position for loaning an idiot a lot of money. Even if he wants temporary charge then the F.A. must do a fit and proper test as per their ruling. I am not tolerating more rules implemented just to placate Portsmouth self inflicted predicament.


The F.A. need to follow through with their rules and dismiss any of this bollocks “temporary ownership” and do the right thing by the rest of the English Football League and throw them out before the indignity of the inevitable liquidation tarnishes the league. Yet it will disrupt the league structure by nulling all of Portsmouth’s results but when you have a cancer, it needs to be removed quickly to stop it becoming worse. This is what is needed with Portsmouth. No more garning for sympathy because the club itself has put themselves in this position. Then again Portsmouth should do the honourable thing and bow out itself to stop any further embarrassment. Either way, this saga is overdue and with their administrator saying they have only about 6 weeks of solvency remaining, should gratiously leave the league as there is no place for them here anymore.

I’m not even comparing them to any other clubs anymore, they have dug themselves into a bigger abyss than any club has ever before becoming the architects of their own demise, and no one can feel sorry for them or their legions of grotesque fans. Casing point is Bob Beech, chairman of fans’ group SOS Pompey, told the Daily Mirror:

“I’d rather have the Luftwaffe back in Portsmouth than Balram Chainrai.

“I’m getting loads of calls, emails and text messages from fans saying they will boycott if he takes over and we will stage a mass season-ticket bonfire.”

“And if it is a choice of Chainrai or liquidation, most supporters would rather form a new club and wipe the slate clean.”

Well first things first Mr Beech, the Luftwaffe weren’t a business, they were the World War II German Air Division, and hardly had the financial backing to take over a football club. Don’t get me wrong, I’d personally welcome a squad of Messerschmitt AG attack planes carpet bombing Fratton Park as it would be an improvement for a start but if indeed Mr Beech is being facecious, then it’s a rather unpragmatic thing to say to a national newspaper. And it’s a bit racist too if you think about it (obviously not as racist as a handshake). Do you see now why I don’t feel sorry for the fans? Perhaps a phoenix is the only solution and leave Portsmouth F.C. to die with the little dignity it has left.

N.B. Is it ironic that the luftwaffe contributed to the reasoning as to why Portsmouth fans claim they held the F.A. Cup the longest?

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