Synyster Graves

All Your Skates Are Belong To Us (Part 2)

by on Oct.25, 2010, under Footie Rants

So Portsmouth have been saved from the brink of oblivion…again. I really don’t know how they have managed to avoid being liquidated again. They were on the way to destruction. They had no chance to survive. But instead of making their time, another miracle happened! Why? Because the FA have changed their rules so much, they totally forgot that a team who haven’t turned a profit in over six months and have blighted English football with excuses and incompetence have been allowed to continue being a club.

For a start they’ve been in administration since February, so they’ve been insolvent for the last eight months. They had completely mind numbingly altruistic clemency from the FA allowing them to trade players outside the transfer window when no other clubs are allowed to do so. They started this season with only 14 professionals on their books when the limit is 16. What more do you need to realise that they are the ultimate embarrassment to the English game?

The bumbling idiot and tragic cretin of an administrator, who has constantly made a fool of himself throughout this entire charade by making football fans all over the globe cup their faces with their hands everytime he’s making a public announcement, whilst trying to engineer a deal to sell the club to a businessman who doesn’t want them for one fucking reason. All he’s done throughout the tenure of his administration is appeal everything that’s happened. He appealed the points penalty. He’s appealed the tranfer embargo. Hell, he’s probably appealed against Isaac Netwon’s laws of gravity. In fact, he’s the first person since the formation of the Premier League to appeal more than Arsene Wenger in one season. Now that’s saying something.

They’ve gone from having a russian arms salesman, through two arabs who essentially bought the club with monopoly money and now to some Hong Kong based mogul who only got them because the previous arab to a loan out with him. And the FA are ok with this?? Seriously, if the FA had any kind of integrity, they would have turfed them out a long time ago. I don’t remember any of this fucking about when they excommunicated Aldershot from the league in 1992, and last year with Chester City. So why do the FA lick so much Pompey arse? Probably because they won an FA cup not so long ago, and Arthur Conan Doyle played in goal for them in the 1920s. Thats. About. It.

Hang on, did I say won an FA Cup? I meant bought an FA Cup. That one season the players at the club were far too good for such a mediocre, listless husk of a team. To be fair, they had good players, like Jermaine Defoe, Niko Kranjcar and¬†Lassana Diarra. I always thought how the fuck did they manage to afford them? It’s like when you hack a copy of Championship Manager and give a ridiculous amount of funds to a previously shite team. Yeah yeah you can get Rushden & Diamonds to the Champions League, but it’s only a game. This was real. And the worst part is that all the inbred deluded Portsmouth fans actually considered themselves an equal with decent teams like Aston Villa, Bolton Wanderers and Fulham.

But going back to my point. In a previous post I was condemning the fact that the FA needed to shield them as a club when any other club would have been put to the sword. Without mercy. The FA gave them needless sympathy. Why? If you knew someone who borrowed enough money to buy a Ferrari, gloated about the fact that they had a Ferrari, and then the bank reposessed their house when they could make the repayments would you feel sorry for them? No because they would be the architect of their own demise.

Portsmouth have made their bed, now they should lie in it. They need no sympathy from anyone because they have brought it on themselves. Nothing wrong with having ambition, but ideas above your station only leads to trouble. They should have gone bust ages ago to serve as a warning that it can happen to any club. Seeing that Pompey have the most odious supporters in England, it would have done the country a favour. There is no such thing as justice, and this is just another case where that sentiment rings true. But fuck it, the FA have fiddled the system and got what they wanted, to the detriment of everybody else who loves football. I put this point towards you. How can a team in administration afford to sign players like Dave Kitson and Liam Lawrence from Stoke huh? If they are in administration means they have no money. Plus no one is going to take such a substantial pay cut from a Premiership side to go to a mediocre Championship side without some kind of renumeration? It’s fucking bullshit.

Well done FA, you’ve managed to save your favourite team. Please can we have an impartial board who enforce the same rules for every team. Not bend them to accommodate your favourites.

If you do truely love English football, then you cannot ever admire anything Portsmouth will do from this point on. They don’t deserve to be exist as a club anymore and every penny they make now is a cockslap to the face of every real football fan.

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4 Comments for this entry

  • The Bear

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t Portsmouth still to be deducted points for being in administration THIS SEASON?

    They were deducted points last season when they were as good as down anyway. And yet Southampton had that ridiculous retrospective penalty (go down and we’ll take it next season, stay up and we’ll send you down)? Hello? WTF?

  • Synyster Graves

    You are correct Bear, they also seem to have dodged the points deduction bullet. But again, it’s the FA’s generic weakness to actually enforce any kind of rules. They’ll pick on the little guys like Chester, because it’s out of the media spotlight.

  • Stevie Hemple

    Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

  • NUFC

    Hello for starters thanks for the article All Your Skates Are Belong To Us (Part 2) The Graveyard, it was an excellent read, We aslo happen to completely agree with you, thank you very much.

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